Too
many times new couples overthink their first date. They play various
scenarios in their heads about what could potentially happen and work
themselves into a frenzy before they have actually gotten together. The
main idea of getting to know the other person takes a back seat to the
worry about whether or not they are making a good impression - are they
touching their face too much, talking too much, not talking enough, and
on and on.
The first date should be a time of getting to know the
other person and listening and responding to what they are saying. How
can you listen to the other person when you are going over what you are
going to say and what you are or are not doing while he or she is
talking? If you think about it, you are actually spending your time
focused on yourself and forgetting that the main focus should be on the
other person. You spend all day with yourself; give yourself a break and
spend time with someone else.
So, you need to get out of your
head and focus on the present moment. What is he saying that you can
relate to? What is she doing that you would like to know more about?
Another good idea is to remember that this is his first date too, and he
is most likely just as nervous as you. Did he forget to open the door
for you? Or not pull your chair out?
Does she just seem to be talking
about herself and not asking you questions? When you see these instances
from the perspective that the other person is nervous too, it is easy
to let go and see where the rest of the night might lead.
If you
are nervous about bad breath, keep some mints in your purse or pocket.
It would be good to have some Kleenex or a handkerchief with you as
well. You do not need to bring the whole medicine cabinet, but having a
few things with you or close to you will help to put you more at ease.
The
main point to all of this is to spend time with your date having fun
and enjoying his or her company. Life happens and sometimes things do
not go as planned.
If you keep an open mind (and heart) you can roll
with whatever occurs. This may be the first date of many.
Relax and
enjoy it!
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